dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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