She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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