I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize