My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
