I think I died a long time ago.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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