At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
