No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize