Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
