making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
