i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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