I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
