My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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