I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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