I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we're so committed to being not committed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
