You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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