new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
