i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
