so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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