I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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