Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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