how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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