Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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