somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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