As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
