I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
