In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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