Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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