wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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