I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
