In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
