i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
