When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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