Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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