This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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