so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
