I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.