Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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(334): View more from Alabama

They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.

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(804): View more from Virginia

so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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(585): View more from New York

lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

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(310): View more from California

I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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(347): View more from New York

Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.

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