Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.