Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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  (512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri
  Replies (27) Good night (920) Bad night (3028)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog

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  (318): Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog http://tfl.nu/md3l
  Replies (263) Good night (1041) Bad night (5697)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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  (914): I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room. http://tfl.nu/ia7u
  Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (3549)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in

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  (508): Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in http://tfl.nu/cfq6
  Replies (27) Good night (876) Bad night (3746)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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  (610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i
  Replies (17) Good night (6650) Bad night (1631)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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  (609): imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift. http://tfl.nu/z6oe
  Replies (31) Good night (1394) Bad night (3874)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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  (585): i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair? http://tfl.nu/daid
  Replies (32) Good night (10785) Bad night (1067)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.

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  (832): He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like. http://tfl.nu/ukkd
  Replies (21) Good night (3768) Bad night (985)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend

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  (931): everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend http://tfl.nu/stvz
  Replies (9) Good night (876) Bad night (4034)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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  (859): heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge http://tfl.nu/k74f
  Replies (13) Good night (3455) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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  (306): So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate http://tfl.nu/7nyf
  Replies (7) Good night (656) Bad night (2176)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I will rub McFlurries all over you.

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  (612): That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved. (1-612): I will rub McFlurries all over you. http://tfl.nu/lnlf
  Replies (8) Good night (1580) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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  (484): Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain? http://tfl.nu/2na3
  Replies (11) Good night (1177) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!

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  (312): I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success! http://tfl.nu/tj5b
  Replies (8) Good night (1794) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

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  (315): She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder http://tfl.nu/9h6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (264)

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