half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid