I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
