I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home