Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (1198) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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  (704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4
  Replies (18) Good night (5283) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth

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  (608): Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth http://tfl.nu/9wx7
  Replies (7) Good night (2010) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.

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  (630): She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her. http://tfl.nu/01f3
  Replies (12) Good night (5640) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (12365) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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  (917): i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing http://tfl.nu/u02m
  Replies (21) Good night (5218) Bad night (1747) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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  (860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora http://tfl.nu/wtuh
  Replies (19) Good night (4529) Bad night (1631) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4710) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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  (978): apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material. http://tfl.nu/gr1e
  Replies (12) Good night (2121) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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  (216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc
  Replies (14) Good night (1080) Bad night (3356) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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  (206): AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN! http://tfl.nu/o93p
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (1526) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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  (541): Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/cv6a
  Replies (8) Good night (1971) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The chlamydia really affected his face.

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  (907): The chlamydia really affected his face. http://tfl.nu/9z0n
  Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Peanut butter balls.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD

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  (206): Peanut butter balls. (1-206): IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD http://tfl.nu/s2fd
  Replies (10) Good night (553) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome

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  (507): If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome http://tfl.nu/ndd2
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

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