woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
