the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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