I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
