Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
