My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
