remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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