oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize