Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
