where am i from again
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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