just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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