i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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