And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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