I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
COCAINE IS GR8
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
