He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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