can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
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