just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize