Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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