The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize