What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
