Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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