you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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