you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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