I must be too annoying 4 u.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
